Fear, for the Heck of It

The first time I stood in front of an audience my mind drifted to the physical act of hanging sheet rock on some stranger's walls. If you have never had the privilege of carrying 25 pound sheets of chalk glued together with stiff paper you have not lived life to the fullest.

The 4' x 12' sheets take two workers to lift and place into position. Once positioned a sheet is nailed to the 2" x 4"s behind them. This goes on for hours and hours, the carrying, the nailing until it is time for the pinnacle of pleasure, mudding and taping the seams and nail marks. This is done by mixing a mud like substance, using a trowel, wearing clothes you never want to wear again and walking around on stilts to reach the upper heights plastering the gooey concoction. Upon completion, if it ever comes, someone will paint the entire surface and all your hard work disappears for ever.

For me the art or function of hanging sheet rock is the worst possible thing I can imagine to do when I would rather not participate in the process at all.

Speaking in front of an audience is much more pleasurable than hanging glorious sheet rock. Today's survey says, "an individual would rather commit suicide than speak in front of a group of people."Seems a bit rash, don't you think?

Yet the first time I stood in front of an audience preparing to speak to my freshman English class at Oklahoma City University, my thoughts drifted to hanging sheet rock. It did not occur to me to commit suicide, though it would not have been a bad idea, I merely had not thought of it.

Somehow I made it through my entire 15 minute speech without collapsing on the podium or choking on my own fluids. My knees physically knocked against each other almost the entire duration of my speech. It wasn't until one of the listening audience laughed at one of my comments or gasped at the horror of the subject of my speech that my knee knockers subsided with their harmonious tune.

The topic of my speech was spelunking. Exploring the innards of caves was a topic I knew something about. It wasn't until feedback hit my ears that I was able to calm down and enjoy the actual delivery of my words. Probably a bit of exaggeration as far as enjoyment goes, my speech was reaching a conclusion and I knew my time was short in front of this group of jackals. When I finally finished,  prepared to tuck my tail under and hide in the back of the room, the unexpected happened. A member of the audience raised her hand to ask a question about the topic of my speech.

I was hooked for ever! I had stirred an interest in the subject of my talk and someone wanted more information. How cool was that?

Today I beg groups, civic organizations, fraternal clubs, political allies and any fund raising committee to allow me to speak in front of their membership for absolutely any reason that will give me a bully pulpit. Quite a reversal from my earlier days, don't you think?

Sometimes I look for speaker nets to learn new tips and tricks to apply to my own speaking prowess. As a rule, though not always I encounter the awful specter of FEAR being repeated throughout a direct marketing piece seemingly interested in helping me cope with the unteachable beast. I still get butterflies before I speak to a group of peers or unknowns, though I am no longer petrified at the thought.

In grant writing the same words seem to be prevalent. The idea of “Fear” follows any line of extroverted optimism seeking financial or other type of approval through speech or written application. Simply speaking, fear has no place in your role as a Grant Seeker.

The nature of being a fundraiser asks you to step out in front of every kind of audience you encounter. Naturally, fear rears his ugly head trying to get your attention. Focusing on the issues whether speaking to a group of would be grant funders or to an audience expressing interest for your cause is a reason for concern, not fear.

I am an Auctioneer. I take charge of my audience of interested bidders the moment I open my mouth. I have come to realize over the years, that the bidders are the ones with fear in their hearts. They are afraid of two things, both are fearful. They fear they will lose the deal of the century and at the same time they fear they will win the deal with too high of a bid. Fear of having over paid for the item kicks in, now they will appear silly to the rest of the bidding crowd.

When standing in front of a audience, about to give your speech, the audience assumes you are an expert in your field. When approaching foundations, large or small these groups assume, until you give them a reason to believe otherwise, you are an expert in telling your organisation's story. They expect, not from fear, you as a grant writer will tell a truthful story following the potential funder's guidelines to the letter.

If you veer from the path they request, fear should pop up in your mind's eye immediately. The fear will come from knowing you have not performed your duties to the best of your ability. Your fear can be avoided completely or stopped in its path by reverting to the correct path the funder requests of you.

I choose to be a fearless grant seeker. With every leap I take into the non profit arena I learn a little bit more about myself and my audience.

I know my limitations!

That last statement is not true. I don't know my limitations. I don't even know if I have any because I am willing to pitch my hat in the ring and see where the smoke settles. If I have done the best I can possibly do then I am content to move on to the next project.

Living without fear is one of the greatest joys of life. Considering the things one can be fearful about, writing a proposal for a possible grant funder is very small potatoes in the larger scheme of things.

So let's walk up to the plate, swing as accurately as we can and bring everyone on base home for the winning run.

Never let em see you sweat!

Blogging at the OK Corral

Every day I read something a little bit different than I am used to.

I discovered Penelope Trunk in my wanderings this morning, not that she has been lost or even reported missing. Penelope is the founder of Brazen Careerist. It is a career management tool according to her blog site. Business Week called her writing “poetic” in a review of her blog.

I read a few back issues, mostly the ones about blogging. I want to pick up tips in order to develop a larger audience for my own blog.

Being famous is always helpful when attracting anyone to your blog, website, book or musings of any kind. So what if you are not famous? What do you do?

It appears as if making links back and forth to those that appreciate or at least find some value in what you are writing about makes the most immediate sense. I have visited some blogs covered up in links. When the link opens up in a new window it is easy to track back to where you were. This is the case in Penelope’s blog. No matter how many outside trips I took, Penelope was waiting for me patiently. What a deal!

One link took me to a site giving me hints I might find a new position because I am a blogger. Companies now are not as concerned about a mundane resume as they are finding someone who sees the big picture. I have some age on me, though my credentials still do not include a Doctorate in some esoteric club of super achievers.

I can be me. I can express myself in my chosen profession through word pictures and conversations with strangers and with some folks not so strange. I like it!

In the grant writing world there is a myriad of levels of asking for, offering to give and matching the two of these together in the most symbiotic of relationships. Even the most successful of non profits have an identity crisis when it comes to instant recognition.

If a non profit with even great success is grant seeking in locations of unfamiliar territory, how does one blow Gabriel’s horn when there is not a blank on the application to express that information?

More creativity is necessary to stand out from the crowd, even if your non profit is the perfect match.  Knowing a million deer slayers in the crowd is always helpful. Making a few strategic phone calls before or after an RFP submission can’t hurt if you know the right people to touch base with.

Small foundations looking for small non profits with a record of success make more sense to me, at least for now in my growing stage.

It seems to make sense to apply to 20 or 30 small foundations on a yearly basis using 2 or 3 boiler plate proposals that fit their bill, than it is to put all of your eggs in one or two baskets so highly competed for, your non profit’s chance of funding becomes almost zero.

Penelope’s career is most interesting. Digging further into her successes I even discovered her failures. She puts it out there in plain English. Failure is okay now as it has always been. We learn by our mistakes and then keep on keepin on.

Grant writing can be a rich, rewarding, writing experience. Like any other professional path followed, the road is not easy. I think about the excitement I once had on a treacherous, dirt, mountain road. It was fear I experienced when traveling up that road, and I do mean up. It got steeper and steeper the further I pushed my 1986 Isuzu Trooper II. Reaching the end of that one-lane, no turn-around included road my heart was in my throat choking me. In first gear I loped up that mountain path having little faith my journey would have a happy ending. 

But end it did, with no way to turn around and go back in the opposite direction. Sitting there completing stopped with my brake and clutch depressed to the floor, my Kamikaze character kicked in. Slowly ever so slowly I backed up into the bank with death staring me in the face on the right. I made small corrections one at a time. It took me 15 minutes to complete the maneuver. When I was finally facing down hill once again I took deep breaths, wondering what I would remember as the most challenging on the trip.

 I proceeded with caution to the bottom of the hill arriving safely. Survival was still the name of my game. Though catastrophe could have occurred at any given moment in my trial, I continued along the road less traveled, by me anyway.

Writing to me is no different than my experience on the road that day. At times I am not completely sure of the safety of my actions; but I am always going to be in the game.

The fear and excitement I experienced on my uphill battle that day will not always show up in my writing. Though treading a ledge to express myself seems to bring the best out in my writing.

How about you?